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Better Know A City Of Infidels: Virginia Beach

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Virginia Beach, home of a Chinese drywall disaster.
Virginia Beach, home of a Chinese drywall disaster.

This series of posts will seriously examine the cities that aim to make the Sacramento Kings their own.

Last week, Virginia Beach emerged as the latest city to get attached to the Sacramento Kings. On Tuesday, the City Council over there will hear a presentation about how Comcast and Live Nation and some other bros want to build a gym, and can promise a pro team. The Kings are assumed to be that team, though no one in Sacramento, Maloof HQ or NBA HQ have indicated they are privy to such discussions. We'll know more Tuesday evening.

In the mean time, let's get to know Virginia Beach a little bit. These facts are all scientific, via Google.

* Virginia Beach: the gateway to Norfolk!

* Virginia Beach smells like rotten eggs thanks to a Chinese drywall disaster!

* Virginia Beach is a terrible place to raise a family!

* According to Yelp, Virginia Beach's best restaurant is filled with old people.

* Virginia Beach has zero In 'n Out locations.

* Virginia Beach recently dealt with e.coli in its water. Some beach!

* The rap anthem of Virginia Beach is Clipse's "Virginia", which I ain't even going to mess with.

In conclusion: Virginia Beach is a great place to get an infection and eat with old people, but a terrible place to raise a family and watch basketball. THUMBS DOWN TO YOU, VIRGINIA BEACH.