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On the Maloofs' sudden accessibility and long-lasting impotence

The Maloofs' war on good PR continues.

The Maloofs ... they are too good to be made up. If they appeared in fiction, you would say, "No, they are too ridiculous. That's unreasonable. That can't be real." Alas, this is real life, and here they are.

Remember April 3, when the Maloofs refused comment on the situation, citing the NBA's gag order. And then someone asked an NBA spokesman about the gag order ... and the NBA spokesman said, "What gag order?" And then all sorts of stuff started leaking out of the corners of the Maloofs' mouths.

This can't be real.

The latest nonsense is the letter the Maloofs submitted to the NBA urging the Board of Governors to just approve the Seattle deal already. The letter claims that the Sacramento offer doesn't match up, and questions whether Vivek Ranadivé and pals have enough money to pull the deal. (I mean ... REALLY?) And of course, David Stern put all of that to bed on Friday afternoon, calling the offers financially comparable and indicating that the league is comprehensively reviewing everything.

I never want to hear anyone claim the Maloofs care about Sacramento again. I understand why Kevin Johnson pumps them up; it's unrequited respect. They are out for themselves, and they sold whatever they had left of their souls for $30 million. Basically, that's what this comes down to: the Maloofs have to advocate for the Seattle resolution, because they so needed cash they took $30 million from Chris Hansen in January. What cheap dates. They became mercenaries inside the Board of Governors for a Jason Thompson contract.

(And if what former Sacramento radio guy Tim Montemayor tweeted Friday -- that during the Board of Governors meeting the Maloofs accused KJ of lying repeatedly in 2012 to make them look bad -- is true, they are even worse. Which I hadn't thought possible.)

The great thing is that the Maloofs and their hired gun, Eric W. Rose, are so bad at this that it's plainly obvious what's going on. That's why Stern feels comfortable basically ignoring them: they are too inept to actually cause problems. They are so bad at (apparently) everything that the threat they'll actually convince enough owners to dismiss Sacramento outright is laughable. I mean, there's a reason that despite the Maloofs' written request no vote was conducted Friday ... right? The Maloofs asked for immediate resolution in favor of the Seattle, and the Maloofs received two more weeks of uncertainty. Congratulations, you're impotent. Well done, fellas.