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74 Things Better Than The Kings Defense

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I'm running out of ways to say how bad our defense is.

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Defense is not usually played from behind the opposing player
Defense is not usually played from behind the opposing player
Cary Edmondson-USA TODAY Sports

1. Mondays

2. Traffic Jams

3. Foster's Beer

4. Taking C.J. Spiller and David Wilson with the first two picks of my fantasy football draft this year

5. The Twilight Books

6. The Twilight Movies

7. Jerry Reynold's chances of joining Twitter

8. Rudy Gay's Pass to Section 104, Row M

9. My chances at landing a date with Jennifer Lawrence

10. The post-Michael Scott seasons of the Office

11. Shaquille O'Neal's Free Throw Stroke

12. Getting gum in your hair

13. Doing laundry

14. The Dexter Series Finale

15. DeMarcus Cousins' body language

16. Ben McLemore's ballhandling skills

17. Dolores Umbridge

18. Hangovers

19. Having to pay $1.90 for guacamole at Chipotle

20. A Good Day to Die Hard

21. Charles Barkley's golf swing

22. Isaiah Thomas' decision to opt for a tough layup rather than an easy pass to an open Jason Thompson.

23. Marcus Thornton's shot selection

24. Greece's economy

25. Travis Outlaw's shot selection

26. Gaius Baltar

27. Myspace

28. Trying to hold Asia in a game of Risk

29. TLC's programming

30. Day-old Fries

31. Nails on a chalkboard

32. Drivers who don't use their turn signal

33. Bitcoin's stability

34. Jason Thompson's opinion of referees

35. The average person's ability to pronounce Giannis Antetokounmpo's name correctly

36. Getting that bit of popcorn unstuck from in between your teeth

37. Power Balance Bracelets

38. Peter Jackson's love of brevity

39. Pouring a bowl of cereal and then realizing you don't have any milk

40. Stuffy noses

41. The Lannisters

42. Getting back to your seat in a crowded movie theater

43. Zing Vodka

44. Rob, Arnie & Dawn

45. Justin Bieber

46. Mosquitoes

47. Getting the middle seat on an airplane

48. John Salmons tenure as a King

49. Autoplay video advertisements on webpages

50. All Caps internet comments

51. Ric Bucher's reporting skills

52. Telemarketers

53. Cars that take up two parking spaces

54. Drafting Thomas Robinson over Damian Lillard

55. The O.C. Register

56. LeBron's hairline

57. Sacramento's late game execution

58. Driving next to bicycles

59. Nickelback

60. Crocs

61. Working on a holiday

62. Stepping in dog poop

63. Darren Rovell

64. Broken A/C units in summer

65. Bill Walton's color commentary

66. Spam

67. Jim Gray, Sideline Reporter

68. The acting in the Walking Dead

69. So-Cal water

70. Bathing a cat

71. Aaron Gray's three point stroke

72. Jimmer's tan

73. Sleep Train Arena's long term viability as a professional sports arena

74. Overly long lists