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Court Jester #4: Kings Reportedly Set To Win Draft Lottery

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After months mulling the decision. It has been revealed that the Kings will be rewarded the top pick in the 2014 NBA draft. Kings fans everywhere rejoiced.

The Kings' faithful rejoiced this morning when it was revealed that the Kings would, in fact, win this year's draft lottery. The news broke early Thursday morning when Yahoo Sport's analyst, and long time Kings fan, Adrian Wojnarowski sent out a tweet saying that it was "First and Goal at less than a yard, like practically inches. Like, if they reviewed it, it could totally be a touchdown."

The Twitterverse erupted with the news. Longtime arena supporter Ric Bucher said that it was the perfect Hollywood ending after the last few years.

"Words just can't express it. I haven't been this emotional in a long time. It's just surreal," said the one time ESPN columnist, and current Warriors laughing stock.

The first pick,  also known as the Patrick Ewing award, is a heavily sought after award that is handed out at the end of each season to the team that deserves it the most.

"After the Cavs got it twice, and the Pelicans got it a couple  years ago, I knew it was our turn." said Kings Owner Vivek Ranadive, "It only made sense, the NBA loves a rags to riches story, and we fit that bill. I think that commissioner Silver made a fine decision, and we hope we do not disappoint."

The NBA has reportedly suspended the Cleveland Cavaliers rights to winning the draft lottery after they felt that their actions did not live up to the spirit of the award. Furthermore, Dan Gilbert is no longer allowed to send his son as a good luck charm.

Joel Embiid has already been seen courting the Kings, tweeting out a picture of himself in a Kings jersey. He quickly took the picture down after the NCAA warned him that they would delete him, his team, and his family from the history books if he pulled a stunt like that again.

The Kings have been in the running for this award since 2007, but could never get over that hump. Commissioner Silver explained what finally made the NBA bite, and reward the Kings in what has been called "The Heisman of Mediocrity."

"A lot went in to the decision. We had to see who was tanking just enough, but not too much. We took into account the events of the last few years, and finally, we just really did not want the eastern conference to screw it up again. I think that the Kings embody the very spirit of this award, and think that they will carry the crown, no pun intended, quite well!"

While the idea of the pick is a great one, Kings GM Pete D'Alessandro warned fans not to grow too attached to the pick.

"We've gotten a few calls from Toronto, who is willing to give us John Salmons back if we trade picks with him. We are currently mulling this over."

Vivek finished with this thought, "Whatever happens, It's the thought that counts. After years of hard work, it feels good to finally see this team get rewarded for their achievements in mediocrity. This one is for the fans! This is your team!"