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Court Jester: Kings to Release Remastered Version of 2014-2015 Season

Sometimes you don't get things right the first time, but thanks to modern technology, that is no longer an issue.

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

In an unprecedented move, the Sacramento Kings announced late Friday plans to "remaster" and "reinvigorate" the 2014-2015 season in a move sure to give the team more appeal to a wider audience.

A visually excited Vivek Ranadive explained to us what this ambitious new undertaking meant.

"There were certain things that happened in 2014 that seemed good at the time, but with technological advances that have gone on in the last few months, and lots of fan feedback pertaining to this season, we decided to re-explore the season and give the fans the season that they truly wanted. This is the fans' team, and they deserve to look back at this last season and remember it the way they want to."

While nothing official has been revealed about this new project, Sactown Royalty's very own Bradley Geiser heard some intriguing details of what we can expect when the remastered version "Kings Episode 30: Rise of the Karl", a joint effort between your Sacramento Kings and Lucasfilm, is released in June:

-Ramon Sessions, and all references to him will be replaced (via CGI and voiceovers) with a digital version of former Kings' superstar Brent Price. While Ramon Sessions was meant to bring new vigor to the longstanding franchise, his slapstick hijinks, and clumsy mistakes proved to be a failed experiment in comedy, leaving no fans laughing.

-An unpopular subplot involving Kings All Star, DeMarcus Cousins coming down with Viral Meningitis has been removed. Furthermore, he will now be the leading vote getter in the 2015 All Star Game in New York.

-During the early part of the season, due to a video error, the Memphis Grizzlies were awarded a win that was clearly supposed to go the Kings way. This version will fix that, making the Ryan Hollins tip that caused the confusion to be much more obvious upon first viewing.

-As most fans who saw this past season know, the Kings fired Malone first, leading to his subsequent removal from the series. Now, thanks to technology, we can see that Malone clearly fires first, leaving the Kings no choice but to let him go. "It really makes his departure make more sense".

-Tyrone Corbin's screen time has been drastically toned down. This season had it's ups and downs, but at some point in the middle, it got darn-right dull. This newly restored version will not entirely remove Tyrone Corbin from the equation, as he played a big part of the season, but his screentime will drastically be cut from 28 games, to 2.

-The third quarter of every game will be removed, resulting in a Kings record of 57-25. The result will be a playoff berth, which brings us to the next big change.

-Through a similar technology that allowed Paul Walker to be in the last Fast and Furious movie, the team will take the video of whichever team wins the Finals, and virtually replace them with the Sacramento Kings, finally bringing a ring to the city of Sacramento.

"Everybody loves a happy ending, it is our job to bring it to this wonderful city by any means necessary" Ranadive told us. "I hope the fans enjoy this historic event."

Other minor changes include the omission of turnovers, more emphasis on "Sauce Castillo" (complete with a CGI sombrero and mustache), and more looks into the behind the scenes work that makes this team possible (with dramatic reenactments of the events that shook up the season). The team hopes to release this new project by the end of June on DVD, Blu-Ray, Laserdisc, Betamax, and VHS. Pre-Order your copy now.*

*Edit: The Kings informed us that they will only be accepting BitCoin.