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How The Wolves Stole Christmas

You’re A Mean One, Mr. Crunch

Not cool, Crunch!

Every kid loves the holiday season! That is, until an NBA franchise and a big fuzzy wolf humiliate you in front of thousands of people.

And that’s exactly what happened last night in Minnesota - or is it??

In a bit that was likely staged but still managed to strike a nerve with Kings fans, the Timberwolves brought a young Kings fan to center court to present him with a generous gift. Crunch, the Wolves mascot, was decked out in full Santa regalia as he handed the little Boogie fan a brand new PS4.

Good times! A great story all around! Merry Christmas! Right? Right?!?!


Why? Because Crunch is a monster, that’s why!

And that’s where our story begins.

Every fan down in Kingsville liked Christmas a lot

But the Wolf who lived just North-East of Kingsville did not!

The Wolf hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!

Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that the rims were too tight.

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his win/loss record was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, whichever one of these things,

He stood there on Christmas Eve Eve hating the Kings,

To be fair to the Wolves, they tried to make it right...

But Kings fans weren’t having it that night.

The PS4 would be had, that much was for sure

But they’d give even more because their hearts were so pure

Kings fans don’t mess around, as this kid will soon see

And the Wolves will soon realize, thanks to Lil B...

Every fan down in Kingsville, the tall and the small,

Was giving without any presents at all!

He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Crunch, with his wolf feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so?

It came without ribbons! It came without tags!

It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

He puzzled and puzzed till his wolf muzzle was sore.

Then Crunch thought of something he hadn't before.

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!

And what happened then? Well, in Kingsville they say

That Crunch’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

Merry Christmas, Kings fans, let’s win a few more!