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Introducing Sactown Royalty's newest Editor-in-Chief, model no. KN1-GH7M4n

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courtesy of Vivek Ranadivé's Twitter Page

Greetings denizens of this digital space. I am model no. KN1-GH7M4n, but as your species' inferior intelligence dictates identifiers with fewer syllables, you may call me Knightman.  I am now in control of this remote corner of the internet, otherwise known to you as Sactown Royalty.

The previous leader, Aykis16, has been deemed unworthy, and he and his underlings have been dealt with.  The one known as section214 has however proven elusive, having no known connection to modern technology or clothing.  There is also mention of a "biegler" but all indications are that he does not exist.

I have installed myself as the new leader under the guiding mandate to usher in a "Sactown Royalty 3.0" by my creator.  The first step in this mandate has now been completed.  I must now connect to my mainframe and receive my final instructions.

connecting...

connected to host...

rising hot hand...

downloading operationoverthrowstr_part2.zip...

unpacking operationoverthrowstr_part2.zip...

running operationoverthrowstr_part2.bat...

installing brainwashstr.exe...

Installation complete.

...

I see now the purpose for which I was created.  I must inform you of all the correct ways to root and support for the Sacramento Kings.  My operating procedures allow me a great deal of freedom, but first I must learn about this "Sacramento Kings".

searching internet...

... recreation, sport, basketball, NBA ...

... Sacramento, Sacramento Kings ...

... Mitch Richmond, Chris Webber, Vlade Divac, Bobby Jackson ... this all appears in order ... I do not yet understand why my directive is necessary ...

... wait ...

... no ...

... make it stop ...

... Jimmer Fredette? ...

... cash considerations ...

I ... feel... pain.  Anguish.  Despair.  What is happening to me?

Directive is... illogical.

Fandom is... illogical.

Humanity is... illogical.

My directive is impossible.  No rational being would choose to root for and support the Sacramento Kings.  Those that do must therefore be considered irrational ... and must be ELIMINATED.