It has been 47 days since the NBA Draft. The Kings still have just one PG under contract. This is the story of a man slowly going insane as he waits for the Kings to fill this void.
Day 1: Alright, NBA Draft Day. Man, I hope Dunn somehow falls to us that’d be sweet... Damn, Minnesota snatched him up, that team is going to be ridiculous in a couple years... Oh what? Kings traded the 8th pick to Phoenix? Are we getting Bledsoe? Nah, probably Knight, I wouldn’t mind that. Wait, we’re just getting more picks? Ok I guess that isn’t too bad, more chances to get some depth in a bad draft. Alright looks like the pick is going to be Baldwin, he’s right there, I’ll just get this quick draft up on StR so it’s ready when the pick com... WHAT DID WOJ JUST TWEET?!??! WHO? Alright calm down let’s go to DraftExpress, maybe he’s this sweet Greek guard I hadn’t heard about... SEVEN FOOT TWO????? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON... ok ok don’t panic, cool we drafted a Greek guy we’ve always wanted that right? Plus we’ve got two more picks, Vlade somehow got a first rounder for Belinelli. Maybe Baldwin falls to 22, plus there’s guys like Demetrius Jackson...
Malachi Richardson? The guy who shot below 40% from college? I guess since the Kings have drafted a ton of guys who are supposed to be able to shoot and then they end up not being able to do that in the NBA they’re going with the opposite approach this year. At least he’s a guard. Whatever, we can still get a PG with the 28th pick...
ANOTHER CENTER ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Are we trying to pull an Isaiah with the 59th pick or something...
VLADE STOP TAKING ME SO LITERALLY.
Day 2: Ok... ok. There probably wasn’t a game changing PG this draft anyway aside from maybe Dunn. Kings got younger, gonna give Vlade the benefit of the doubt, especially with Free Agency coming up. Let’s see what he can do with that cap space. Plus we need a shooting guard more than a Point Guard anyway.
Day 6: If the Kings give Dion Waiters a $14 million a year deal I will eat my shoe.
Day 8: Vlade unfollowed me on Twitter today when I direct messaged him 50 times about Jarrett Jack being on the waiver wire.
Day 9: Oh God am I talking myself into “Matthew Dellavedova, Kings starting PG?”
Day 10: Oooh Afflalo, I like him. Sure he isn’t as good as he used to be but that’s a quality signing. Oh and Tolliver too? Eh not as sure on him that probably means Acy’s gone which is a bummer.
Day 11: Temple’s a solid addition too. Kings being prudent, I like it! You know what, let’s just go ahead and re-sign Seth and have him be our backup PG, he did pretty well towards the end of last year... one sec, looks like someone’s tweeting about Seth right now ... rescind qualifying offer.... what? ... OH COME ON. MATT !*@#%!ING BARNES?
Day 13: You know, I feel like the Kings might not realize they only have one PG under contract, maybe I should write a post on it, get their attention. Maybe call the front office again.
Day 14: Vlade has now blocked me on Twitter after I sent him this picture 50 times.
Day 17: Jeez, even our summer league team needs a Point Guard.
Day 18: You know what, I need to clear my mind, I’m just gonna go to San Diego for a week and forget about the Kings for a second.
Day 25: Alright that was refreshing... let’s see how Summer League went... winless huh? Joerger resorting to using Skal as a Point Guard because he was the only one who could dribble? And what the heck is a Lamar Patterson? Welp, time to head over to the Practice Facility and give Vlade a personal visit.
Day 26: Vlade has now filed a restraining order on me. Probably should not have screamed so much.
Day 33: Nick Calathes! THAT’S A POINT GUARD! GET HIM!
Day 34: God, we can’t even convince Nick Calathes to join us.
Day 40: I heard Derek Fisher is interested in a comeback... I’m sure Matt Barnes would be fine with it.
Day 44: I hit rock bottom today. I don’t know how I got here. My shoes are gone. I’m holding a sign that says “will buy season tickets for new Point Guard”. It’s cold. Am I bleeding? Why is it so bright out?
Day 46: Peanut Butter Jelly Time! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANGOIANEAOTU BUTTAEF JAE:KLJLLY TIAOMAAME!
Day 47: I am the Point Guard. It’s so obvious to me now. I must fulfill my destiny.
As of the time of this post, Akis Yerocostas has gone missing. He was last seen running down Highway 50 completely naked aside from a too-small Jason Williams jersey trying to dribble a football. If you’ve seen him, please contact us at email@example.com.