Ideas to fix the Kings

The Sacramento Kings haven’t had the best start to the season. After an absolute blowout against the Atlanta Hawks, it’s obvious that the Kings need help. With that in mind, I have a few suggestions.

• Unplug it and plug it back in

• Leave it in a bowl of rice overnight

• Put some WD-40 on the hinges

• Make sure your oil and coolant levels are topped off

• Put some Windex on it

• Put it in a brown paper bag overnight

• Put aloe vera on it

• Put on a sweater

If these don’t work, the only other option is to have patience and accept that this season was never going to result in a lot of wins. And, I don’t know, maybe tinker with the rotations a little.

One thing you shouldn’t do is call for Dave Joerger to be fired, because that just isn’t happening, and shouldn’t happen.