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Comparing the top NBA Draft prospects to ingredients at Chipotle

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Throw out the numbers and the scouting reports, this is the only analysis we need.

Chipotle Becomes First Non-GMO US Restaurant Chain Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images

The 2017 NBA Draft is less than a week away, and if there is one thing missing from the loads and loads of awesome draft coverage out there, it’s a really in-depth look at how some of the top prospects compare to the available ingredients at Chipotle. In the future, it’s something that sites like DraftExpress should really consider adding to their analysis, but until then, I’m here to fill that gap as Sactown Royalty’s resident Chipotle expert.

Thanks to some awesome suggestions on twitter, and deep meditation, I bring you the 2017 Chipotle NBA Draft Board.

Markelle Fultz - Flour Tortilla

Yes, tacos and bowls are on the menu, but don’t get fancy here. A burrito is the best item available, just draft the burrito, and build your meal around it.

De’Aaron Fox - Chicken

Everybody likes De’Aaron Fox. Everybody likes Chicken. It might not be everyone’s first choice, but nobody is going to complain about chicken, and if cooked to perfection, could be the best pick in the draft when it’s all said and done.

Josh Jackson – Steak

Like chicken, but better. Josh Jackson is a timeless basketball player. He’d be a great fit in the NBA 30 years ago, and he’s going to be a great fit in the NBA right now. Steak is a great base for so many different meals. You can have it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc. and it just works.

Jonathan Isaac – Barbacoa

If the chicken or steak don’t bring their A-game, barbacoa has loads of potential and could overtake them before you know it. A lot of folks are scared to try barbacoa because chicken and steak are such easy selections, but the risk could very well be worth the reward.

Dennis Smith Jr. - Carnitas

At times, it feels as though people forget carnitas is even on the menu. Chicken and steak are the simple selections. Barbacoa is the risky pick, and carnitas is kind of just sitting there doing its thing. Much like carnitas, Dennis Smith has had a very quiet summer, but someone is going to be very happy with that selection on draft night.

Donovan Mitchell – Chorizo

As the new kid on the block, Chorizo aka Donovan Mitchell wasn’t really in the ‘top-prospect’ conversation until recently, and like Chorizo, opinions of Mitchell are all over the map. Some pundits love him, others are less enamored, but at the end of the day, it’s just sausage and chicken. It’s going to be decent at worst.

Zach Collins – Sofritas

Nobody can really figure out why sofritas is on the menu. In all my years of eating Chipotle, I can’t say I’ve ever seen anyone order it. With that being said, Zach Collins continues to appear in the top-10 on every mock draft, so like sofritas, he’s clearly right for someone, we just don’t know who.

Jayson Tatum – White Rice

Not the most exciting ingredient, but if its available you just have to take it. He’s a low-risk known quantity with a high basement. At the very least, he’s going to be OK. It’s hard to mess up rice.

Justin Jackson – Brown Rice

Like white rice, but worse.

Harry Giles – Pinto Beans

Like pinto beans, Harry Giles has loads of potential, but also like pinto beans, Giles is a risky selection, and one mishap could spell disaster.

OG Anunoby – Black Beans

Slightly less explosive than pinto beans, but not without its own risks, Anunoby showed a lot of potential at Indiana. His checkered injury history keeps him from being at the top of anybody’s draft board, but black beans are a totally respectable pickup.

Juwan Evans – Fajita Vegetables

Much like Juwan Evans, people don’t talk about fajita veggies enough. If you put him in the right situation, he can make your front office look really smart.

T.J. Leaf – Mild Salsa

Mild Salsa is the salsa you get when you don’t have a strong salsa opinion, and there is nothing wrong with that. T.J. Leaf is going to be an effective NBA player. Mild Salsa is an effective topping. Nothing more, nothing less.

Anzejs Pasecniks – Roasted Chili-Corn Salsa

Someone is going to select roasted chili-corn salsa without really knowing what they’re getting themselves into, and it could change the flavor of your entire meal, for better or worse. You shouldn’t jump into chili-corn salsa blind. Do your homework.

Lonzo Ball - Tomatillo-Green Chili Salsa

Don’t let the outside noise fool you, just because the tomatillo-green chili salsa isn’t as aesthetically pleasing as some of the other salsa’s, doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth selecting. Sure, it has some baggage, it’s going to turn your entire meal green, but if you aren’t afraid of what it’ll do to the rest of your organization, and can stomach some of its less appealing qualities, by all means take the green chili salsa. Don’t be stupid. It’s going to be good.

Malik Monk – Tomatillo-Red Chili Salsa

Like Chipotle’s hottest salsa offering, Monk isn’t going to be the right fit on every team, but if you’re into what Monk brings to the table, he could be your most important ingredient.

Luke Kennard – Sour Cream

With better toppings like guacamole, cheese, and salsa available, it’s hard to justify selecting sour cream unless you’re feeling greedy. Go for it if that’s your jam, but there should be better options on the table.

Frank Mason – Cheese

Like Frank Mason, it’s hard to find anyone that has a bad thing to say about cheese. It might not be the healthiest pick, and you might be better off drafting somebody else, but it’s just so damn likable that you end up talking yourself into it, despite the potential drawbacks.

Lauri Markkanen – Guacamole

Guacamole may look unappealing at first sight, but modern trends has made it essential for every Chipotle order. It’s 2017, every team needs a stretch 4, and every burrito needs guacamole.

Josh Hart – Lettuce

You don’t walk into Chipotle craving lettuce, but hell, it’s on the board, and you’ll feel better about yourself if you have some in your food.

Frank Ntilikina – Vinaigrette

Like Frank Ntilikina, Chipotle’s vinaigrette is a complete unknown to casual fans, but if you’ve done your homework, it could be a game changer.

Caleb Swanigan - Grapefruit Izze

After you’ve drafted your food, being able to add that grapefruit izze at the register is icing on the cake. You’re not selecting Swanigan as part of the main course, but if you can grab him with a 2nd round selection, you’ve had an excellent night.

Terrance Ferguson - Quesadilla

I know what you’re thinking, Chipotle doesn’t even have quesadilla’s. Au Contraire, like Terrance Ferguson, Quesadilla’s haven’t been on the menu all year, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have one. Ferguson played a season of professional basketball in Australia instead of going through the college system, but just because he’s been off the radar for so long, doesn’t mean he won’t have value on draft night.

John Collins - Chips

Collins is kind of an NBA Draft afterthought despite being a lottery selection according to most mock drafts, similar to how chips are a bit of an afterthought until you’ve hit the register. Like chips, if you see Collins on the board late in the draft, you might as well pick him up.