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What if the Kings roster was a Thanksgiving dinner?

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Sacramento is eating good this year.


It’s Thanksgiving, and Kings fans have a lot to be grateful for.

Sacramento is two games over .500 after five weeks of NBA basketball. The team added another impressive win to their collection last night. They’ve taken down the Grizzlies, the Spurs, the Heat, the Thunder (twice), and now the Jazz.

Players on this roster are breaking out left and right. All under the watchful eye of head chef, Dave Joerger. And while not every dish on the Thanksgiving table is going to be a hit, we have love for them all on a day like today.

So gather round, Kings family. Let’s dig in.

De’Aaron Fox - Turkey

This one is simple. It’s not Thanksgiving without turkey, and the Kings just aren’t the Kings without De’Aaron Fox. He is the identity of this team — it’s backbone. It’s heart and soul. He’s the main course.

Buddy Hield - Gravy

Everyone loves gravy. It pairs well with nearly every Thanksgiving dish. Whatever the lineup, slather a generous helping of Buddy into the mix, and things get better. His jumper is as smooth and tasty as the best gravy you’ve ever had in your life.

Iman Shumpert - Cranberry Sauce

Not everyone appreciates cranberry sauce, but it’s an absolute necessity to have on the table. The sticky sauce is a great analogy for the glue Shumpert provides in the starting lineup. And just like the edge Shump brings to this team, cranberry sauce also comes with a bit of a bite. He may not be a primary option, but he sure delivers on the flavor front.

Nemanja Bjelica - Mashed Potatoes

Oh yeah, we’re talking fundamentals now. Bjelica has those down pat. Sometimes his game comes out a little lumpy, but most of the time it’s buttery and silky smooth.

Willie Cauley-Stein - Mac & Cheese

A staple, but an inconsistent one. Is your crazy aunt going to make that cheap kind from a box with powdered ingredients? Or will this be the year we get the made-from-scratch stuff, baked with 5 types of cheeses and those delicious bread crumbs on top?

Bogdan Bogdanovic - Pumpkin Pie

It’s not the first thing you dig into, but it sure is great when its time to cut you off a slice. And, boy oh boy, is Bogi’s game sweet to behold. Savor this dish, it’s a special one.

Marvin Bagley - Stuffing

This one was almost too obvious. Bagley is the only King stuffing anyone around the rim these days. Plus, with Marvin’s potential, he is bound to be a starting level option soon enough. I don’t know about you, but I always have a place reserved for stuffing on my first plate of the night.

Frank Mason - Ham

An acceptable, but inferior, substitute for turkey in a pinch. We can’t enjoy turkey for 48 minutes straight, so mix it up with some bench minutes from ham.

Justin Jackson - Brussels Sprouts

Brussel sprouts can be good. They should be good. There are a lot of irrational lovers of brussels sprouts out there. But most of the time, they just stink.

Harry Giles - Sweet Potato Casserole

A personal favorite of mine, sweet potatoes really round out the carbohydrate rotation of a good Thanksgiving dinner. I’m also lucky to have interacted with Harry personally, and let me say this: He is the sweetest guy around. A female member of the Sacramento Kings staff told me that he literally ran to hold a door open for her once. That’s the type of sweetheart Harry is.

Kosta Koufos - Rolls

Back to basics. No one in their right mind is fighting over the rolls on Thanksgiving day. But that doesn’t mean they don’t add something fundamental to the meal. Do you want a solid option on your plate, even if it’s not the most flashy thing in the world? Of course you do.

Yogi Ferrell - Pecan Pie

It’s not quite a necessity. You can get through a Thanksgiving meal without it. But I prefer at least a little slice. It’s different — it’s good. But it’s a sometimes food, for now.

Troy Williams - Green Bean Casserole

You need your veggies. And on this roster, Williams is your best option right now. Set those brussels sprouts down and grab you a scoop of green beans, my friend.

Skal Labissiere - Yogurt Pie

It might be decent, but we’ll never know.

Ben McLemore - Wine

Is the game in hand? Is dinner all but over? Are the kids in bed? Grab yourself a glass of the red stuff and reminisce about the old times.

Zach Randolph - Canned Corn

This corn used to be so good. So fresh. It could have been grilled on a cob with butter. But now it’s been sitting on the shelf for far to long to bring any added value to the meal. Might as well leave it in the pantry for a rainy day.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

(Note: Thanks to HueristicLineup for the awesome photoshop of our master chef!)