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Kings vs. Lakers Preview: Z’Oh No He Didn’t

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The Kings play host to the best Lakers point guard since Magic Johnson with Isaiah Thomas returning home tonight!

Kimani Okearah

Hey you, how about some facts for you on this beautiful Saturday. The Lakers are in town to continue a rivalry that your buddy insists hasn’t ever existed anytime the Kings beat the Lakers. Since last we saw the survivors of this flaming bandwagon of mediocrity and were graced with exclusively one syllable comebacks, the Lakers have caught lukewarm, winners of 13 of their last 20 games, and it comes at no surprised they did this with Lonzo Ball sidelined since mid-January. Sniffing success for the first time since Kobe still had teammates good enough to be upset about when he didn’t pass to them, the Lakers did the logical thing in a deep draft with many competitors, and traded for a superior point guard, in Isaiah Thomas. Yes, Isaiah might be 5’8, and yes it’s true his wonky hip might be shredding what is left of his elite athleticism, and yes he’s in a massive shooting slump, and yes we know that his mouth and attitude was so poisonous in Cleveland that it nearly brought Lebron James to his knees... But... “But?” Oh there is no “but”, he’s still a better option than Lonzo Ball, who won’t be playing tonight due to a nasty case of Deaaronitis.

Say, here’s something I discovered! If you were to thumb through your old Encyclopedia Britannica and find the scientific classification family for ducks, you know what you’d find? Anatidae, or “Anti-DeAa” if you’re not fooled by the establishment’s lame attempt at hiding the truth in a letter scramble. Quack Quack, Zo. QUACK, QUACK.

Let’s talk Kings basketball.

When: Saturday, February 24th; 7:00 pm PST

Where: Golden 1 Center; Sacramento, CA

Television: NBCSCA

Radio: KHTK Sports 1140 AM

For Your Consideration

Tragic Johnson: This title was just to piss off the Laker stans that can’t seem to read more than the big boldy words, and yes, I know what you were thinking... No that wasn’t my nickname back in college (It was much worse). Aside, from running his mouth enough to get another set of tampering charges tossed against him, Magic Johnson and Rob “Lowe” Pelinka have done a serviceable job at the helm for the Lakers. Their tank is seemingly at its end, and now, the moves they don’t make are going to be just as important to their long term success as the ones they do. Not trading an obvious talent in Julius Randle for peanuts at the deadline was a successful non-move. While they’re apt to lose him for nothing in the summer when they refuse to give him the quan he’ll demand, giving him space to showcase himself fully while retaining him in restricted free agency was, decent. Finding success in the lower picks like Kyle Kuzma and Josh Hart was another tick on the positives for this new Laker’s rebuild. Alright, I can’t stand another second of this: it’s Saturday, I don’t need to subject you to thinking positively about the Lakers. The only true positive thought about the Lakers is this: someday, humanity will be gone, cities tumbled end over end in geologic upheaval and one day, a little deer or field mouse or lizardfishman will take a big squat right where a few particles of the 2001 NBA Championship banner still exist. There’s your moment of zen for the day.

Draft Dreams: No draft dreams today, the FBI is investigating me for giving these kids views.

Prediction: Lakers don’t even show up today. Isaiah Thomas tries to fight everyone in the parking lot. Somewhere, Larry Nance is texting his mom “I didn’t know how bad LA was until I moved to Cleveland”.

Kings: 109, Lakers: 14