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Kings vs. Jazz Preview: Play it Again, Sam

The Kings remain winless as they take on the Jazz in Sacramento friend.

Sacramento Kings v Utah Jazz Photo by Alex Goodlett/Getty Images

(Alright, so I had a way different preview written. Not wanting to cause undue harm to the website, this is the one your all getting instead.)

As Kings fans we’ve seen our fair share of shit. We’ve been a laughingstock, we’ve been pitied and for long stretches we’d pretty much been neglected. We spent our times in restrooms with unending flushing and tarps falling onto floors that covered long abandoned advertisers. We had articles written at the height of relocation that basically amounted to “Aww so sowwy we’re stealing your team widdle guys, but we’ll take good care of dem!”. I could list the endless amounts of cockamamie bullshit that we as Sacramento Kings fans have endured over the years in order to sit down for two hours, 82 nights a years and forget how shit the world was outside by watching teams that couldn’t win a Sacramento Kings look-a-like contest with their actually roster of players competing. Year after year, the Kings have found so many new ways to fuck their fanbase they could write a basketball themed Kama Sutra.

And yet, we’ve endured. Rumor has it that after it was official that the Kings were staying in Sacramento, David Stern told the Sacramento Kings ownership group that they’d have “sell out that arena like never before” and despite the consistently lackluster product they’ve put on the floor, Sacramento Kings fans have shown up and represented; paying Steven Spielberg prices for a Tommy Wiseau film.

We fought for this team, we fought for the future of Sacramento and for coming on seven years now we’ve pretty much fought back our urge to demand better. Better use of our draft picks. Better use of our cap space. Better use of the “smarter men in the room” that our ownership likes to brag about surrounding them. Yeah there was a blow up over Luka Doncic. Yes there was push back after the litany of firings in the various departments that help the Kings function as a franchise. But, Kings fans have pretty much kept their heads up and taken the beatings.

I think this season might just be the end of that.

The Kings play the Jazz on Friday night then head out on the road.

Sorry, my other preview was a lot more fun.

Let’s not talk Kings basketball.

When: Friday, November 1st 7:00 pm PST

Where: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento CA


Radio: KHTK Sports 1140 AM

For Your Consideration

Danger, Will Robinson: Brad wrote a wonderful article that sums up a lot of feelings that I have towards the Kings as a franchise. Everywhere you look on the basketball operations side is wrought with ineptitude. That is unless you’re looking in Ken Catanella’s office - that place is a storage closet with two big ol’ spheres of brass. As a fan that feels frustrated, one can’t even latch onto one thing. Example: Harry Giles, a wonderful young man with a bright future ahead of him had his option declined for next season, essentially signalling his end as a King. This is tragic news considering the time and love invested into that young man, only now to see the Kings bail out of the project before it has time to really be completed. Now, James Ham said on a podcast recently that Harry came to camp out of shape, which is frustrating. But then, knowing that this training staff is brand new and Harry has always seemed willing to put in the extra work, blame might just fall on an inept staff right? Well, they wouldn’t have that inept staff had we hired Brandon Williams, who laid waste to many long time Sacramento staff in order to get his people in. Higher and higher it goes, blame all around, nothing simple -Trickle Down Suckanomics. Years and years and years of it. If you had gotten hot and heavy back in ‘06 (aka the last time the Kings had made the playoffs), and from the rapturous joy of seeing Bonzi Wells fight Tim Duncan and acute asthma you created a child, that child would be old today enough to say “the Kings suck ass” and not have you bat an eyelash. That kid would be three months and a day away from being a teenager. I don’t know where I’m going with this other than to say the Kings have sucked ass for a long time now. On a more recent note, at least those uninspired red jerseys that Nike micturated out on the fanbase will give a pleasant double meaning to “the fans are seeing red!” for Jerry to play around with.

In the end we’re all just a bunch of little poop mites on a speck of turd flying through the fart cloud and every single thing I’ve said will be meaningless in 2 days. Everyone who reads this will be meaningless in 500 years and yet, I just had a little boy dressed as Miles Morales come to my door and light up when he saw my Peter B. Parker costume (or admittedly, my full size candy bars). It’s a memory I’ll hold for a very long time and I’m not afraid to admit that I choked up a bit seeing the pure warmth of that kids smile in the way only a kid on Halloween can.

That kid’s going to be a Warriors fan.

I fucking hate him already.


The heat death of the universe takes place eons from now. Nothing will be around to signify the human race was ever a thing. An infinitesimally small ripping in space that began the day Doug Christie punched Rick Fox in his square mug will finally come to a rest. There will finally be peace.

Kings: 17 runs, Jazz: A field goal