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Kings vs Celtics Preview: The Game That Time Forgot

The Kings take on the Celtics in less than three hours! AGHH!

Kimani Okearah

Before we get started with anything too serious, I want to congratulate Tony Xypteras on getting to watch a Kings basketball game before 2:45 in the morning or whatever the math is over there on the History Channel side of the country. I know the sun sets at 2 pm in Pilgrimville so this one is big for you. To everyone here on the Party Coast, wake the hell up, there’s a game on in less than three hours! Let’s briefly talk Kings basketball!

When: Sunday, November 17th, 12:30 pm PST

Where: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, CA


Radio: KHTK Sports 1140 AM

For Your Consideration

Anything is Possible: Sunday’s (barely) afternoon game against the Celtics will be the second time in three days that the Kings take on the top of their opponent’s conference. Friday night was a two point loss to the Los Angeles Lakers, a team built decade in and decade out by swindling the helpless out of their talent. Swindling the hapless is more this iteration of the Celtics move. I’m not detailing all the great big trades that the Celtics ripped from the mouths of wide-eyed dolts that managed other teams, mostly because I’m afraid I’ll forget something the Kings did and people will accuse me of hiding the truth that I actually care about this cursed team and don’t want to hurt our dolts’ feelings.

The Celtic are a fairly young core; three of their top five scorers are younger than 25 and the other two are Gordon Hayward, who is out with a smooshed hand, and Kemba Walker, a recently rescued hostage from a religious compound in North Carolina ruled by a sociopathic, gambling-addicted media sensation from back in the 90’s. You might know him: he’s the worst actor in Space Jam. No, not Wayne Knight. Kemba has fit like a glove with this Celtics teams, sliding in for the flat-earth trotting Kyrie Irving, who took his talent for crossovers and putting his foot in his mouth to Brooklyn.

A couple quick things to look for and I’ll get out of your hair:

  1. Marcus Smart is a defensive beast, an absolute monster that is very soon to be a national name for tearing shit up. Oh and for giggles, he’s up to 40.8% from deep this season on nearly seven attempts a game. All of you who didn’t want the Kings to extend him a contract when we had the chance a season or two ago should report to me at once.
  2. The Celtics turn the ball over less than 12 times a contest. They’re #1 in the NBA in that category. If you start hearing that number creep up early in the game, then my guess is the Kings are in this game. Sacramento’s last two games have been interesting defensively, with them forcing turnovers and playing the passing lanes pretty well. If they can do it today, it might not be a fluke.
  3. Noon games are very weird.


Tony doesn’t even watch the game today because he was out losing his dog on a ferry or spending 70 bucks at Chipotle or something. Marcus Smart craps the bed because I complimented him. Somewhere, Wayne Knight is sitting on a toilet when he gets a little boost of self-esteem. You’re welcome, Wayne. You’re welcome.

Kings: 109, Celtics 101