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30Q: Why haven’t the Kings signed Corey Brewer?

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Sign Corey Brewer, you cowards

Cleveland Cavaliers v Sacramento Kings Photo by Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty Images

By all means, I have liked the off-season that the Sacramento Kings have had as far as player movement goes. They’ve filled darn-near every need they had on the basketball court, and they did so without hemorrhaging their future assets. Now, they theoretically have as many players as they need, but there is a gaping, Corey Brewer-shaped hole in the roster and the locker room that I believe, if filled, could be the perfect cherry on top of a good off-season.

Brewer is going to be 33 years old, and I know this isn’t a prime signing for most teams, but it would be a great one here. I also know he has had some tenures with teams who did not like him as much as many Kings fans did. He only played 15 minutes a game in 24 games last year and connected on an adequate 45% of his field goals and 33% of his shots from downtown, but where I see Corey Brewer fitting is his ability to sit on a bench for a few games and come out with the energy of a caffeinated emu every time he’s called upon.

The fact that he is still unsigned may show Brewer that his days as a regular rotation guy are numbered, and adding him to this Kings roster adds a veteran presence who seemed to know his role quite well last year, and who will be ready at the drop of the hat to go out there and slam dunk the ball so hard that he shatters his spine and keeps playing. That happened. Remember? This man dunked a ball, fell directly on his spine, got the full Hollywood silence treatment, then not only went back into the game later, but played the next night. To paraphrase De’Aaron Fox, Corey Brewer knows how to fall, and is this a viable NBA skill, is it not? You bet your boots it is!

Kings fans, including myself, grew to love Iman Shumpert last year, but Shump’s output past the first couple weeks or so was not that good. I loved the guy and what he did for the roster, but he was not good out there for a lot of his time in Sacramento. To me, Corey Brewer fills that role of a strange veteran leader in a locker room, but he does so knowing that he doesn’t need to be on to be valuable. He defends like a wacky inflatable arm guy from a used parking lot and he runs around on offense like a man with a purpose, and that is really all the Kings need. And yes, he will go out there and fall with all the grace of the Roman Empire.

He only shot the ball about three-times a game, his defense was enough to annoy anyone who found his flailing arms within their countenance, and most importantly, he’s just sort of a weird, lovable, and goofy guy that is a joy to have around. He knew his role, had a rapport with the young players on the team, he fills a perfect need near the end of the bench, and dagnabbit, he knows how to fall.

Sign Corey Brewer, right now. And when they do, watch as the Kings depart the the confines lottery and float honorably to the gates of Valhalla.