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Satire / Humor

Jack Cooley receives one All-Star vote, falls just short of starting lineup

This is a travesty

Comparing the top NBA Draft prospects to ingredients at Chipotle

Throw out the numbers and the scouting reports, this is the only analysis we need.

The Sacramento Kings Are Revolutionaries in the War Against Tanking

We are witnessing an act of defiance the world has not seen since the Minutemen were fighting for America.

Sactown Royalty's 2017 Valentine's Day Boutique!

Stuck on Valentine’s Day without a date? Just print out one of these Kings-themed Valentines and give one to your crush. You’ll thank us later.

DeMarcus Cousins trolls Isaiah Thomas

Boogie has no shortage of jokes

Playbook to beat the Sacramento Kings

The Kings aren't hard to beat

Kings “Kiss-Cam” ends with the best plot twist

She made the right choice.

The Sacramento Kings do not pay us

A letter to our readers from Sactown Royalty Headquarters.

Seeking a Point Guard at the End of the Offseason

What do you do when there seems to be no more options?

DeMarcus Cousins as a referee is every player’s worst nightmare

Boogie in charge of calling Techs? That’s a recipe for hilarious disaster.

Point Guard Watch, Day 47

One man’s slow descent into insanity as he waits for the Kings to sign another Point Guard.

Vivexpendables 2: Divacalypse Now

Last year, we were introduced to The Vivexpendables. A screenplay which swept the nation. Now, after another eventful year, a sequel has been written. After coach George Karl goes rogue and takes the team with him, what can our heroes do to stop him?

Recruiting Free Agents through terrible Photoshop

Break out the MS Paint and let's start pitching Free Agents!

QUIZ: Could You Be Considered For Kings Coach?

Could you get an interview with the Sacramento Kings? Take our quiz and find out!

Quincy Acy Shaved: Life Is But a Joyless Dreck

On a very eventful day for the Sacramento Kings, Quincy Acy has reminded us that life is nothing but a pointless journey to an eternal grave.

KINGO!: A Look Inside America's Newest Sensation

What happens when you mix your favorite parlor game with your favorite basketball team? An inspiring journey which can only be described as a miracle.

This Vlade Impression won't flop

Viral internet star @BdotAdot5 kills it with his second Sacramento Kings impression, this time of Vlade Divac.

Vlade's Day Out: Choose your own Adventure!

Think you can run this team better than Vlade? Here's your chance to prove it!

Kings fail to sign Red Mamba

Sacramento is denied the joy of cheering for the Red Mamba.

The Vivexpendables: A Screenplay

One man's trash is another man's treasure...

May the Fourth Photoshop Challenge!

May the FOURTH be with you brothers and sisters!

Court Jester: Kings to Release Remastered Season

Sometimes you don't get things right the first time, but thanks to modern technology, that is no longer an issue.

Kings Links: Hawes, Divac and more

News and Notes about the Kings from around the web.

Court Jester: The Ballad of Sauce Castillo

Where did the mysterious Sauce Castillo, Sacramento's new favorite sharpshooter come from? Why does he do the things he does? What makes this Sauce so special?

StR Yule Log

It's holiday rhyme time, so nog it up and sing along with StR.

How to cure DeMarcus Cousins

DeMarcus Cousins missed yet another game due to illness. Time to bust out all the stops.

Understanding the cause of the Kings' collapse

We've solved the mystery

Kings winning streak faces tough test in Phoenix

The Kings are 4-1 but start a tough four game road trip tonight in Phoenix. The Kings know full well the capabilities of the Suns, as former Sacramento King Point Guard, Tony Delk, once scored 52 points on them.

Court Jester: Isaiah Thomas was Disrespected!

What kind of guy is Isaiah Thomas? A disrespected guy...

Court Jester: The 2014-15 Sacramento Kings

Many people are previewing this upcoming season, but few are answering the hard-hitting questions the way we are.

Who is to blame for Isaiah Thomas leaving?

Recent comments by DeMarcus Cousins bring the topic back into question of who forced Isaiah out of Sacramento. We dig into the suspects.

DeMarcus Cousins out-trolls European Reporter

Prof. Cousins dishes out his own geography lessons.